Embracing Singlehood,  Single Life Blog

How to Do Single and Thirty the Right Way

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These are the top five ways that will guide and teach you how to do single and thirty “the right way”.
In this blog post:
  • Shut out the haters, doubters and narrow minded people
  • Find your passion
  • Build a self-relationship
  • Surround yourself with a strong support system
  • Set your worth and standards
  • In conclusion – let go of all pressures and expectations

Let me start off by saying that there is no right way to live your life in general, and single life specifically. There is only the right way for you, or at least the better way, because I don’t believe that you can ever live it 100%. Accepting that is also an important part of life, your journey and your growth. I posted on Instagram not long ago about the importance of making plans, but not following them to a T. The following tips are meant to guide you in finding your own right way, and help you ace it as best you can. 

Following these steps is crucial for doing single and thirty right, as long as you make sure to not only adjust them to your own needs…. But also allow yourself to stray a little, let go and just go with the flow sometimes. Definitely don’t force anything to work. You’re already thirty and single, there’s nothing you can do to change that, so instead of fighting against it, start using it to your advantage. Start working with it, and making the most of it as best you can. Wallowing over your status quo won’t do any good, it definitely won’t change or make it better. If anything, it will only make it worse and you will likely be even more bitter. 

1. Shut out the haters, doubters and narrow minded people

When you’re constantly listening to everyone around you, telling you how you should and shouldn’t live your life… You’re setting yourself up for disaster all around. First of all, it will just confuse you and make you feel lost, or even more lost. It can also cause you to conform and do something that goes against what you want, because that’s what you’re being told. And worst of all, it can make you feel bad about what you chose to do, or feel like you made the wrong decision. 

Listening to everyone around you should never be the main way you make life decisions, and it should never come before your own opinions. People will always have what to say, especially when you’re single and thirty. Mostly, it will be remarks and comments that make you feel bad about yourself. And what’s the point in that? But what can we do, they’re not very likely to stop, so we just need to learn how to shut them and their opinion out and walk away. Stop wasting your time and energy on these people, and you’ll feel so much lighter and better. It will also help you focus better on your path to doing what’s best for you. And doing single and thirty in the right way for you.

2. Find your passion

During your singlehood, you not only have more time to focus on yourself and discover what you want and like… You also have the capacity to actually do it. When you don’t have anyone else to care and worry for, you can invest all of your time, energy and efforts on all the things you love and enjoy. In general in life it is important to find the one main thing that you’re super passionate about. It’s usually also the one thing that you’re best at and love doing. For me, it’s my writing. I’ve always been so passionate about it, but also love and enjoy it, which is important for perseverance. In addition, I chose to write about single life specifically, which is something I’m not only passionate about, but also know well.

Let go of all prejudices and timelines, stop worrying about where you should be, and start focusing on where you are. I know how difficult it is to let go of the fact that you’re single and thirty, that feeling that it’s too late or that you took too long. It’s never too late and you’re never too old to find your passion. It’s certainly better to start late than never. Finding your passion is always important, but even more so when you’re single, especially when in your 30’s. You don’t have that one romantic relationship to fill your time (which is an advantage in my opinion). You’re not busy building a family, so you have all of this time, space and energy. Which shouldn’t be wasted away on solely finding a partner.

3. Build a self-relationship

Building a self-relationship is something that people often overlook, usually investing all of themselves in other relationships instead. We tend to neglect our own relationship and forget that we even need one to begin with. Instead, we focus all of our time and energy on pleasing others and relying our happiness on our relationships with them. But just like every other relationship in your life, you need to have one with yourself as well. I’d even go as far as saying that it’s the most important relationship in your life. It’s the base of every other relationship you have and develop. The way you treat yourself, is usually also the way you show others how to treat you. And also how they will actually treat you.

A relationship with yourself is even more important when you’re single, because you don’t have that one prime romantic relationship. You are your one and only source of well being and happiness (as it should be). There’s no one else you can count on to fill and fulfil your life but yourself. It’s even more crucial in your 30’s because it’s likely that most of your friends are off getting married and having kids, maybe even busy with a career. It’s not like in your 20’s when your social life is at its peak, and everyone around you just wants to go out and have fun. Which is why it’s so important to have a strong enough connection and bond with yourself. 

4. Surround yourself with a strong support system

I’ve written about this time and time again, and I will keep writing about it, because I cannot stress enough how important this is. In general, the things and people you surround yourself with have a huge, direct impact on your life and well being. They affect what you do on a daily basis and how you feel in general, and about yourself. The inner circle and support system that you create, will influence and change the way you fight and get through hard and good times. If you have good people around you, that you can count on… Falling won’t be as scary, easier to get up from, and maybe even you’ll fall less often.

When you’re single you discover more than ever, that there is more than just one type of relationship in your life. Platonic relationships start taking up the majority of your time, and you’re not just focusing mainly on one romantic one. Which means that you have more people and relationships you can count on… Because you’re nurturing them regularly. And also different people for different situations. Which is also why it’s so important to keep maintaining and nourishing those relationships. Especially when you’re in your 30’s and no longer have the patience for bulshit, you want quality over quantity. You want those people that will lift you up and make you stronger, not hold you back.

5. Set your worth and standards

Setting your worth is something that you should always be doing, but unfortunately tend to neglect in favor of others. Especially when we’re in our 20’s we’re more prone to conformity and peer pressure. In our 30’s, however, we worry less about fitting in, and more about being true to ourselves. Knowing what you’re worth, and having proper standards, will not only filter out people who shouldn’t be in your life… But also attract so much better into your life. The way you hold yourself will also impact not only the way that people see and view you… But also the way they treat you and behave around you.

As I’ve mentioned above, reaching your 30’s also means you’re in a no-bulshit time of your life. You’re no longer willing to put up with unnecessary games and drama. Which is a huge part of setting your worth and standards. Especially when you’re single, you become very picky with who you allow into your life. Which is how it should be, if you want to do it right and make the most of your life. Being single and thirty isn’t easy as it is, so it’s important to have a high value for your life and never ever settle for less. Knowing your worth, and not allowing anyone in who tries to lower it, is crucial. When you have high standards and quality people in your life, doing single and thirty is so much easier.

In conclusion – let go of all pressures and expectations

Later this month I will post a whole blog post about timelines, expiry dates and time limits. But for now I will sum up this post by saying that a huge aspect of being single, thirty and happy, and actually thriving… Is to let go of all prejudices, stigmas and timelines. There is no right time or right way, only the right one for you. And I know how much pressure you can feel when single and thirty… Both from yourself and the people around you. But allowing that pressure to affect and impact you and your life, will only hold you back. Allowing it to dictate how you spend this period of your life, will ruin it completely. And probably make you more prone to make mistakes and jump into all the wrong relationships.

So don’t let pressures and expectations dictate your life, don’t let them make decisions for you. Grab the reins and take control of your own life, and the direction it’s taking. Stop second guessing yourself because that’s what others are doing, and start being the one in charge. And if someone can’t accept that, well, then good riddance and goodbye. Live your life for yourself, not for anyone else. Because at the end, you are the one who has to live with the consequences. Your life isn’t over because you’re single and thirty, it’s just beginning.

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Stay safe, stay healthy and stay strong!
Michal B.L.

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Hey there! My name is Michal, I was born and raised in Israel, currently I live in Tel-Aviv. In my Single Life Blog I write about single life in all its glory, and share Single Life Lessons to help you embrace singlehood. I offer tips and advice for a better, happy single life. How to be independent, feel comfortable in your own skin and company, and how not to chase toxic people.

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