These are the top 8 essentials Every single person needs in their Life, to make it fuller, better and happier.
Mastering singleness isn’t easy, and is never perfect or even accomplished 100%. It’s a long, hard process that takes a lot of time and patience. There are no shortcuts, secret passageways or magic fixes. Just like everything else in life, you need to put in the effort and hard work. You need to wake up every morning and make a conscious decision to put up a fight. Sometimes it’s even tooth and nail. It’s a hard fight, but worth every moment and every ounce of pain. Being single allows you to take the time and gives you the opportunity to develop and maintain a relationship with yourself. To learn how to self love and feel comfortable in your own company.
The key is to push and fight through the hard times, to believe in yourself, your strength and ability. With time and practice it will get easier. You can also take different steps and fill your life with certain things, activities and people that will help you through it. In this blog post I would like to share with you a few of the essentials that every single woman (and man) needs, in my opinion, to learn how to self love and be single and happy.
1. At least one subscription box
Personally, I believe that every single person in the world should be subscribed to at least one subscription box (if not more). I seriously believe that the world would be a much better place, because people would be so much happier. I may have a slight addiction, but who can blame me? They’re fun, exciting, surprising and a great way to spend some quality time with yourself. Not to mention, that they provide you with great products… Which you can also use to self care and spend even more quality time with yourself.
The boxes even gave me incentive to create a proper, more consistent skin care routine. And in turn my skin has been so much healthier and better. Without these boxes, I would have likely never gotten these products… Which prompted me to take better care of my skin. And let’s face it, now that I’m 30… I need to take more precautionary steps to prevent and slow down any aging. Besides the fact that in general we should be taking care of our bodies and skins as much as we can… To preserve them.
My personal favourites so far are definitely TheraBox and Singles Swag. Since I started purchasing them, I can certainly feel how my spirits have been so much higher. Furthermore, they help to cheer me up when I’m down, and make my single life better by improving and enhancing the quality and quantity of time I spend in my own company. And again, they provide me with great products I would have never gotten for myself… And it’s just like giving gifts in any other relationship you have.
2. A strong support system
I preach a lot about how being alone isn’t lonely, how we need to learn to enjoy our own company and presence. That we don’t need to depend on others for our happiness and self love. But that does not mean you always need to be alone and cope with things and problems all by yourself. You have to surround yourself with close friends and family, people who you care about and they care about you. It doesn’t have to be a long list… Personally I believe that it’s so much better to have less than more. You can’t really maintain so many strong, deep relationships. Just like everything else in life, quality should always come over quantity.
Also, for the longest time I believed that I must overcome everything on my own… That sharing and asking for help is a sign of weakness. That being strong, meant dealing with everything wrong. It took me an injury, and my favourite coping mechanism taken away from me… To learn that it doesn’t make me weak, it makes me stronger. I’m very lucky to have a great family and wonderful friends. Most of it is due to them being amazing human beings… But also how hard we work at developing and maintaining that. They also all certainly helped me through overcoming the loneliness of being single at first, and they fill any “void”. I may have from not having a romantic relationship.
3. At least one prominent hobby
This is also something I preach about all the time, because if you want a happy single life. (and a happy life in general) you need to fill it with fun, productive and self growth activities. And what better way to spend your time and grow than with something you love and enjoy? If you’ve yet to acquire any hobbies, you can take the time to find one that suits you best. Play around with it, test out different hobbies until you find the one for you. It doesn’t have to be anything too bombastic, in fact it probably shouldn’t be. You just have to enjoy it, and it should be something you look forward to.
A strong hobby can make you so much happier, make your life so much better and elevate it’s quality. It can help you spend some much needed high quality time with yourself and also develop and maintain different skills. Just like with your friends and family… Having a hobby fill up your life and time. Something you can utilize for filling up any emptiness or “void” you’re feeling.
I’ve made a “Surviving Lockdown Ideas List and Goals” which you can also use as inspiration to find yourself a hobby if you don’t have one yet.
Too many people neglect themselves too much, forgetting that sometimes we also need to take breaks. Self care isn’t selfish, it’s essential. You can’t keep going and working like a machine, our bodies and minds were not made to keep going without resting a bit in between. So many people even slip essential hygiene steps, which is a huge mistake. Because if we don’t nurture ourselves, we’ll feel neglected and disgusting. So we need to make sure to keep a proper, consistent hygiene routine. Which includes all the basics like bathing, brushing your teeth, cutting your nails and hair, washing your face, etc. But it also includes that extra self care touch – like doing your nails, using face masks, bath bombs, nose patches, bath salts / oils, facial scrub, body scrub and anything else that improves your well being.
However, self care isn’t always so pleasant, and it’s not always just doing fun, feel good pampering. It’s also about maintaining difficult and maybe even painful habits, like working out and eating healthy. Like extracting toxic people from our lives, working through problems and not avoiding people and things that harm us.
5. High quality underwear
I’ve written about this recently in my Undies Subscriptions Unboxing and I truly believe that what you wear under your clothes… Can exude and affect how you act and hold yourself on the outside. Having the right kind of underwear can help you feel more sexy… And thus feel better about yourself and boost your confidence. But you need to make sure to do it for no one, but yourself. If you do it for others, it will lose it’s touch very quickly and won’t actually give you much benefits more than just immediate satisfaction. You’re the only one that knows they’re there, it’s like a small little secret with yourself, which also makes it fun. You need to do it for yourself, and it will definitely help you have a better single life.
6. A favourite drink
This may seem silly, but sometimes it’s the small, simple things in life that make us the happiest. Like having a nice glass of Pinot Grigio at the end of the day to help you unwind, or a good mug of coffee to help you cope with mornings. It doesn’t even have to be something alcoholic, but having a favourite drink which helps you calm your nerves and relax, like coffee, tea, coke, juice, something alcoholic or anything else… Can really help you overcome hard moments. Please take this with caution though, because there’s a HUGE difference between having one (maybe two) drinks to assist, but anything more than that can make you too dependent and probably even addicted.
Just like with everything in life, it’s all a matter of finding a healthy balance. It shouldn’t be something you escape to or use to run away from problems. It should be something that compliments you and just adds to the moment. One of my favourite quotes which is very appropriate and relevant here is “Don’t drink to feel better, only drink to feel even better”. – Reese Witherspoon, ‘How Do You Know’. Which is true to many other things in life as well.
7. Good books
Books have always been one of my favourite coping mechanisms and pass-times activity. I loved that I could escape into a whole new world, get sucked into a story that enveloped me and helped me feel better and more relaxed. Books have a power that nothing else does. We live in a world with so much tech, screens and distractions. All of which can be very unhealthy and worsen your mental health. Reading a book is one of the best distractions because it’s productive and so much healthier than anything screen related. Besides helping you forget for a moment and being entertaining, reading teaches us to be patient and many other new things. Not to mention that it’s a great way to learn new words and super important if you want to be a better writer.
8. A regular zen spot
There’s nothing quite like having “your spot” – a place you can escape to to be alone with your thoughts. A place where you can spend some quality time with yourself. A place where you can learn how to enjoy your own company. Now, I’m not talking about a favourite bar or restaurant – which are also great to have, but not what I mean. I’m referring to a peaceful, quiet place, with little to no distractions, where you can just be. Like a nice local park, the beach, the forest, a natural spring, a hill-top, or even your backyard. It’s a place where you can sit and have a solo picnic date, sit and write or read, organize your thoughts, draw or anything else your heart desires.
Coping with being alone and single requires actually dealing with being alone by spending time alone. And where better to do that than at a beautiful, peaceful place for yourself? (Preferably in nature – because nature is super therapeutic). And if you use every single one of these essentials to fill your life, being alone and single won’t seem so daunting anymore.
When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person’s body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.Elizabeth Gilbert
Keep filling your life for a full life
Stay safe, stay healthy and stay strong!
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