I used to think that 30 was old, that it was so far off. But the truth is, now that I’ve reached that milestone, I’m learning that it’s not that old, in fact, it’s not old at all. And I still have so much things and time ahead of me. I once thought that by this time, I’ll already be married with kids, or at least in a serious, long-term relationship. But I’m neither, and believe it or not, my life is still full and good, and I’m still happy. Not to mention, that life isn’t just about being in a relationship, it has so much more than that to offer.
From the age of 16 until 26, I was always in long term relationships, I was “the one with the boyfriend.” and I’ve had a few short relationships since, 1 month here, two months there, but nothing that felt right, or worth devoting my time, which I can dedicate to different things that are no less important, if not more. After my last serious relationship, I came out of it jaded and devoid of strength for a new one. It cut off my wings, and I was in no rush to jump back into the pond. I wanted to be alone, rediscover myself and grow my energy and passion back.
Society depicts a particular, correct path, where you need to follow specific rules and guidelines, and if you don’t study a subject within the norm – that will be financially beneficial, and if you don’t find yourself a husband and start having kinds by a certain age, then you’ve gone astray, then something is very wrong with you. But I refuse to accept that, or believe it, because it couldn’t be further from the truth. People tell me that I need to start my own family, that my clock is ticking. As if I can just go out, click my fingers and the perfect man will appear. But husbands don’t just fall out of the sky, and I will not take that huge step with just anyone, just for the sake of having a partner and kids.
I chose to study creative writing and literature, and that earns me many raised eyebrows and confused looks, questions like: “what are you going to do with that?” or “but how are you going to make money?” and they infuriate me, because beside the fact that not everything revolves around money, we should all be studying something we love, that we truly believe in, our passion. I don’t want to wake up everyday and force myself to go to a job I hate and suffer from.
We live on average about 80 years, and no one can do the same thing for 40-50 years, especially these days when the attention span is 30 seconds. And I believe that it is never too late to change your profession, study something new and take a different path. Life has so much to offer, so why shouldn’t we take advantage of it? I’ve seen too many people getting bored and jaded from their nine to five jobs, from their meager life, lacking excitement and passion, something worth getting up in the morning for.
While I do have a fear of loneliness, and I do want to find someone to grow old with (not necessarily marry though) – I still feel like I have time. Because even though I’m scared of being alone for the rest of my life, spending 40-50 years with the same person scares me even more.
‘30 is the new 20’ has become a cliche’ for good reason – it is very true. And while once I thought that it is just the beginning of the end, I’ve been learning lately that it is way beyond that. And if you want to get technical – most of our lives are spent over the age of 30, so we may as well embrace it and make the most of it. So as part of starting this new path and passing yet another milestone, I’ve decided to make a list of goals for my 30’s – then share it with you in hopes that it inspires you as well. And also, I believe that when you write something down (and especially if you share / publish it), it makes you commit and chase it.
- Publish a novel – Or any other big dream you may have. I write “a” in an attempt to be humble and not too presumptuous, but between us – I do plan on publishing more than just one, and hopefully before I hit 40. I have so many idea’s just waiting to be spilled out onto blank pages (some of them are already in the works) – and there is nothing quite like hitting 30 to motivate me to get it done.
- Grow your blog – or any other current platform you have. I’ve recently started this personal blog, where I share my life experiences and challenges, in hopes of inspiring and helping others, to share the awkward, scary and strange moments that people don’t dare to. Because it is important to spread those messages, to not be ashamed. So I hope that 30 will help me spread my blog to the world.
- Start a travel blog – or expand any other current platform you have. I would also like to turn said blog into a travel blog – where I write about the different cultures, people and stories I encounter along the way. Tidbits and interesting things that I’ve learned from each destination. I’ve already started by publishing about a past trip to Germany, and hope to continue doing so until we can start travelling again.
- Travel drawing – or find some extra hobby you can turn into a business, that will contribute to your current work. I’ve always enjoyed art in all its forms, and drawing has been one of my first hobbies which grew more and more with time. And after taking a few art classes in different methods and styles, I’ve found one that resonated with me most. It is inspired by Edward Gorey – black and white drawings with Staedtler pens, and I’ve developed my own style and theme. The best way, in my opinion, to commemorate travel, is by writing and drawing it. So I like choosing small, special moments from my trips to turn into drawings. I hope to continue sharing these drawings and growing in that field as well.
- Learn to play the drums – or any other hobby you’ve been dreaming to learn for a long time. this one is just for fun, and for my soul – which is probably what makes it an important one. Music has always been a huge part of me, I constantly have earphones in playing music. But unfortunately I never learned to play, and it has always been my dream to play the drums. Life is long and it can get boring without learning and trying new things, so I encourage you all to always find new things to keep your life vibrant.
- Get your masters degree – expand your current knowledge for me, it would be in Writing Therapy. I truly believe in the healing powers of all types of arts, but especially writing. I’ve mentioned how therapeutic it is in my anxiety blog posts, and it is something that is very prominent in my life. Therapy is a fascinating subject, and if I could integrate it with my talent and love for writing, with helping others – that would be the greatest accomplishment.
- Run half a marathon – or any other milestone you’ve been dreaming of. This has been a dream of mine for quite some time which has been put on the back burner, due to some leg injuries. I’ve discovered running a few years back, and it has done wonders for my soul and anxiety. It is my psychologist and my way to let off some pressure and steam. So I may never be able to run like I used to because of the injuries I’ve suffered, but I could at least do this once in my life – even if I have to walk some of it.
- Living in London – or any other place in the world you’ve always fantasized about living in. No matter how many times I visit this city, I could never get bored or tired of her. Every time I’m there I just get a sense of belonging, I feel whole. For a long while now, I’ve wanted to live there, at least for a year or two. So I hope that very soon I will make this dream a reality, and start a new path in London.
- Travel the world – Travel is a huge known key for happy life. If it was not obvious, my biggest dream is to travel, discover new places and cultures. And I hope that once the skies re-open, I can continue fulfilling this dream and marking off my list all the many destinations I would like to visit.
- Start a relationship – In the right place, at the right time. When you find that person worth giving up singlehood for. As much as I love being single, and despite loving my independence and my own space and freedom, I know that I won’t want to be alone forever. It would be nice to find someone to travel with, someone with the same curiosity and hunger for life and new adventures and discoveries.
So as intimidating as the number thirty is, and as scary as this new path is – I know I can do it, and I am filled with determination to make the most of every moment, and concur all the mountaintops I wish to reach. I know it won’t be easy, obstacles are an inseparable part of life – and that’s okay, because it makes our accomplishments that much more satisfying. So bring it on thirties, and give it all you’ve got – because I plan to put up the best fight and win.
It’s really something for people who are approaching 30 to take a look at what that means to them. I think turning 30 is a chance to re-identify with yourself.
– Neil Patrick Harris